


Seesaw

by turdlewonnie



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Blood, Boys In Love, Character Death, Drinking, Implied Murder, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kinda?, M/M, Poetry, Smoking, inspired by seesaw, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22410313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turdlewonnie/pseuds/turdlewonnie
Summary: the first time i saw you, you had just turned 18.worked at a gas station.black hair covered most of your face.you were really fucking pale.reading a porn magazine.smoking.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Seesaw

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by seesaw
> 
> you can choose your own pairing :)
> 
> enjoy!

the first time i saw you, you had just turned 18.  
worked at a gas station.  
black hair covered most of your face.  
you were really fucking pale.  
reading a porn magazine.  
smoking.

camel lights.  
usual even then. 

i made my presence known with a small cough.  
green orbs shooting up, staring at me, mouth slightly ajar.

camel lights, please.  
a stuttering, of course.  
three crumpled dollars on the counter.

i felt you watch me through the window.  
with a smirk i lit a cigarette.  
this could be fun.

\--

the second time i saw you was at a house-party.  
cradling a beer.  
alone.  
hair still black.  
skin still pale.

hey.  
hi.  
want a cigarette?  
yes, please.

silence.  
do you want to get out of here?  
please.  
we left.  
and brought a bottle of vodka with us.

we ended up at a park.  
it was the middle of june.  
the sun was on its way down.  
you laid down beside me as we shared the bottle,  
and the entirety of my cigarette packet.

\--

the third time we met was at the gas station.  
i asked for a pack of cigarettes.  
you gave me them, free of charge.  
i smiled at you.  
you forced a smile.

i asked for your number.  
you wrote it on the pack of camel lights.  
then we just watched each other.

i left with a smile on my lips.  
the cigarettes weighed heavy in my pocket.

\--

the fourth time we met i had called you.  
you beat me to ask for a meet-up.

we met at the same park.  
the sun shone bright.  
i watched you.  
you looked as if you were sleeping.  
i reached out and touched your cheek.  
you smiled.

then we kissed.

\--

the fifth time we met you came to my place.  
we drank coffee.  
smoked cigarettes you had stolen from the gas station.

then we had sex against the refrigerator.  
my magnets scattered all around the floor.

we had a shower together.  
and i fucked you against the shower screen.  
shampoo bottles and razors littered the tiled floor.

you fell asleep in my arms.  
you were gone when i woke up.

\--

the sixth time we met you cried.  
i had asked you why you left.  
you didn’t want to tell me.

did i do something?  
no.  
did something happen?  
no.  
i only want to help.  
i know.

then we went to yours.  
you had a small dog that weirdly resembled yourself.

i had brought a bottle of wine.  
we drank it straight from the bottle.  
then we had sex on your couch.

you fell asleep in my arms.  
i was still there when you woke up.  
you weren’t.

\--

you never answered my phone calls.  
your smile faded every time you saw me.

did i do something?  
no.  
did something happen?  
no.  
talk to me.  
i can’t.  
why?  
i don’t want to.  
okay.

i slept alone for the first time in a long time.  
we couldn’t go on like this.

\--

i met someone.  
oh.  
he reminds me of you.  
does he treat you well?  
i guess.  
i’m happy for you.  
/i don’t want to do this anymore./

\--

one of the last times we met you showed up at my doorstep.  
you were crying.  
my heart broke.

what happened?  
it didn’t work out.  
did he do something?  
yes.  
wanna tell me?  
yes.  
now?  
tomorrow.  
okay.

you fell asleep in my arms.  
you were still there when i woke up.

\--

you sat at my kitchen table in underwear and one of my shirts.  
smoking.  
drinking orange juice.  
you were still crying.  
you hadn’t stopped crying since you got here.

i sat down at the table.  
you stood up and took your place in my lap instead.  
still smoking.

i haven’t been honest with you.  
you haven’t?  
don’t be mad.  
i’m not.  
he was my boyfriend.  
i know.  
no you don’t.  
i don’t?  
no.  
why?  
we were together the entire time.  
oh.  
not anymore though.  
why?  
he hurt me.

\--

you kept coming home with bruises.  
you kept coming home crying.  
i never asked why.  
i only held you.  
tight.  
close.  
/i can’t do this anymore./

\--

we were laying in bed.  
legs entwined.  
me caressing your cheek.

do you ever want to die?  
sometimes.  
i do most of the time.  
stay with me.  
i don’t know if i can.  
of course you can, what are you talking about?  
he’s not leaving me alone.  
you want me to take care of it?  
please.

\--

this is the last time we met.  
blood is everywhere.

i look at you.  
you look at me.

the warm water in the tub feels nice against cold skin.  
your back against my front.  
melting into my touch.

/are you there? i can’t feel you anywhere./

you close your eyes.  
i close mine.

/just like before, you were never really here./

i feel myself slip.  
you’re already limp in my arms.

/are you there? i can’t feel you anywhere./

there was blood on the pack of cigarettes laying on the floor.

/nevermind, i just wish i didn’t care./

**Author's Note:**

> my second published text! i tried something new and idk, i kinda like it? i'm not really sure tho,,,
> 
> hope you enjoyed, and please leave a comment if you feel like it !


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